hmm, yesterday is a big mess!! Went to campus and met friends, jedi drove me there. After that, we went eating, and then to QB. Read some books, and basically just having a darn good time!! Then ervand called, and I know I should be happy that he finally called and that we're going out. But, don't know, there's something deep inside that feels sad, and heavy.

jedi drove me to ervand and tista was eating. We kissed. I almost cried. Actually, I did cry. And it happened, I didn't feel happy after all, going out with ervand. He was being quite and all. We didn't even really talk seriously. It seems like he's still avoiding a long conversation with me. But the atmosphere become a little weird. I just cant take it. I feel isolated. I feel abandoned.

I guess, I always feel abandoned inside ...

then jedi called after I got home. It feels so far ... I just couldn't reach him. I cried ...
he said one of the things that I was wanting to hear.. But still, all those feelings ...

I just cant explain